Navigating Uncharted Waters

Change and Choice

by Chris Sanders, Pastoral Associate

So many times, we feel apprehensive when it is time to make decisions regarding one thing or another. We live on a thin thread of waiting for change so we can make the perfect choice. Should we purchase that new sofa, or wait until we redo the entire room? Maybe a new car or do we wait until the economy is better or our family outgrows the current vehicle? Perhaps now is a good time to plan having children or should we wait a little longer after our career has really taken off?

Change brings apprehension, excitement, doubt and fear of the unknown. We wait to make decisions regarding important conversations, making big plans or changing stocks after weighing all our options and researching every avenue. Life presents so many moments of change and choices.

Right now is an uncertain time with a worldwide pandemic that most of us are tired of hearing about. Our interaction with Covid-19 depends on our own underlying conditions or those of the loved ones we live with or who are close to us. Today we find ourselves in the middle of one of the largest changes or transitions that we will not soon forget. Our peers, our children, our families are watching our every step, literally. 

Transitions are uncomfortable, unknowing and can be scary. It is not easy trying to make wise and smart decisions for yourself, family, work or employees given so many unknowns. Our desire and grief for the normal of the past sometimes clouds our current view and choices for today. This is normal. We can only ride with the transition the best we can and make healthy decisions each moment of each day.

Part of being smack in the middle of transitions or change is to know we will feel UNCOMFORTABLE. Other feelings may arise during life transitions - apprehension, anxiety, depression, grief, excitement, joy and uncertainty.  All of these are normal feelings during any time of great change as we are all currently experiencing. Again, transition is uncomfortable. Knowing we need to be aware of our feelings, identify them and experience them is an important healthy, and sometimes difficult, task. Some of us run from any form of having to feel. What we do with our uncomfortable feelings is an opportunity, our choice and within our ability.

How do we identify our feelings and express them in a healthy way? We have an amazing body that speaks to us. What is it doing? Are we having headaches or stomach aches, clenching our jaw or experiencing sleep pattern disturbances? These are all signs that it is time for a “PAUSE” to identify what is going on. Take the time needed for exercise, a walk, a call or facetime to a friend or family, to slow down and readjust our sails. Ask for help if needed. Perhaps it is time to reestablish old hobbies or begin a new one.  Most importantly be KIND to ourselves. Transitions are difficult and messy and each of us will experience it differently. Whatever we do—we should not put life on hold – we should just become more creative.

This weekend is the 6th Sunday of Easter. In Sunday’s Gospel, Jesus tells us that “I am in my Father and you are in me and I in you.” We are never alone. The strength of our God is in, with and through us. So are the choices we make for ourselves and our families. As the parish begins safe reopening strategies, know that we walk with each other and our God. We are never alone. Our prayer is that we will make the best choices we can during this changing and challenging time using creativity and kindness.

Resources:

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/trauma-disaster/mental-health-professional-counseling-and-emergency-preparedness

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/


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